Although I did the best I could, I wish I had treated the process more professionally. It’s always better to try and leave doors open rather than slam them shut on your way out.

10 Steps to Quit Your Job Amicably

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 3.5 million people quit their job in January 2020, and it’s safe to assume that not all of those people left their job amicably._[1] While it would be nice if it were this simple, quitting a job is more than just telling your boss you’re leaving, packing up your desk, and walking out the door.

Follow these ten steps to ensure you leave your job in a professional manner and remain on good terms with your former employer.

1. Have a job or other income stream lined up.

If you’re planning to quit a job, it’s a good idea to have another job lined up beforehand to ensure there’s less of a disruption of income. Since there’s no guarantee that a job search will go quickly, having a job, emergency fund, or another income source in place means you don’t have to worry about that kind of uncertainty. It also means you can take your time finding a job that’s a good fit.

Once you’ve found a new job or career path, then you can work towards an end date at your current position and a start date with a new company. Find out how flexible your new boss is with your start date in case things don’t go to plan when you leave your current job.

Related: How to Negotiate Your Salary for a New Job

2. Avoid starting workplace chatter.

Once you know it’s time to move on from your job, it’s best to play your cards close to your chest. Knowing you’re leaving creates a false sense of security, making it easier to say how you feel about the job, the company, and your coworkers.

This isn’t always a wise move. “Oftentimes employees fantasize about finally standing up to bosses or coworkers that have mistreated them,” says Chane Steiner, CEO of Crediful. “While this might be a satisfying fantasy, never quit like this. It’s immature, hostile, and will sever any solid relationships or connections you’ve built with anyone at the company.”

If you have legitimate gripes or complaints about your job or treatment by the company, Steiner says to use your exit interview with HR to express those.

3. Schedule a meeting with your supervisor.

Not only should you refrain from airing your grievances about the company, but you should speak to your direct supervisor before telling your coworkers. It’s professional common courtesy, and it helps you control the situation. Telling your coworkers could lead to your boss hearing about it secondhand, which can cause unnecessary issues or animosity.

Make it a point to schedule a meeting with your boss. A face-to-face meeting is preferable, but if meeting in person doesn’t work, schedule a teleconference or phone call instead.

This doesn’t need to happen as soon as you know you want to quit your job, but once you’ve determined a time frame and a target last day, your boss needs to know.

4. Prepare for your meeting.

Once the meeting is scheduled, take some time to prepare for it. Have an idea of what you want to say and what you don’t, and make some notes for yourself with those talking points. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say things you didn’t intend or that may hurt your reputation.

Be prepared for questions your boss may ask and how you might answer them, but don’t feel pressured to explain yourself or your reason for leaving. You can share those sentiments during your exit interview.

Write your resignation letter ahead of time to give to your boss at the meeting. A resignation letter is your chance to leave professionally, lay out a timeline for your departure, and share your appreciation for the time spent with the company.

5. Ask for a reference.

If you plan to use your supervisor as a job reference during your job search, try to secure this now while the news is fresh.

Asking for a reference right after telling someone you’re quitting may be awkward, but it’s worthwhile, especially if you have a solid relationship. Good references, especially from a former employer, will help you when landing future jobs.

If your supervisor says no to your reference request, ask someone else in the company that you’ve either worked under or alongside who can attest to the quality of your work.

Related: How to Prepare for (and Crush) a Job Interview

6. Show gratitude for your job.

In all your communications, make it known that you are grateful for your job. Gratitude can take several forms. You can write thank you notes to supervisors and coworkers who’ve helped you along the way. Purchase a small gift or buy coworkers lunch to say thank you one last time.

It’s usually possible to find things to be thankful for and lessons you’ve learned to help you in the future.

7. Give at least two weeks’ notice.

When quitting your job, make sure you give the company at least two weeks’ notice or whatever the company policy requires. This allows them to prepare internally for your departure and makes you look respectful, professional, and courteous.

Steiner says, “So many employees will quit jobs without giving their employers notice at all. This is one of the worst things you can do when quitting a job. No matter how much success you had at the position or how many solid relationships you built, you’ll always be looked at as the employee who quit unannounced.”

Once you’ve given them notice, stick to that time frame. Don’t try to leave earlier than planned and if asked, don’t stay beyond it.

Related: How to Ask for a Raise (the Advice No One Ever Gave You)

8. Ask what they need from you.

Although quitting your job means a significant change for you, it’s also one for your employer.

Content writer and freelancing coach Laura Gariepy spent a decade working in human resources and saw this firsthand.

“Your departure from the company likely throws a wrench in your supervisor’s plans,” she said. “They’ll need to shuffle resources around and shift their strategy to achieve company objectives.” You can ease the burden by being proactive and asking what you can do to help during the transition. It’s a professional gesture that both your boss and your coworkers will appreciate.

Helping the company may mean training your replacement or leaving resources or notes to help the next person working in your position. You may also want to finish up any lingering projects or paperwork, notify customers or clients of your departure, or return any company-issued equipment.

9. Leave on a positive note.

Choose to leave well. Even if your experience with the company was less than desirable, try to find some good aspects beyond receiving a paycheck. Maybe you received training you couldn’t have otherwise afforded or developed a skill you can transfer to a new career. Or perhaps you expanded your professional network or made close friends.

Gariepy considers this an important step in quitting a job. Regardless of poor pay, micromanaging supervisors, or an overall toxic work environment, she advises leaving on a positive note.

“Continue to show up and perform well through your last day,” Gariepy says. “The professional world can be small and you may run into folks from this job later in your career. So don’t burn bridges if you can help it.”

10. Understand your employer is entitled to their reaction.

When you announce your departure, your employer will inevitably have a reaction, and it may not be the reaction you expect or want. They may be angry or confused and demand you leave immediately.

Even if you disagree, try to respect their emotions. This was likely an emotional decision for you but you’ve had time to process your feelings. This is the first they’re hearing your news and need some time to work through theirs.

Offer some grace as they try to plan for your departure.

Quitting a Job on Good Terms is Best for Your Future Endeavors

Although it’s difficult to know how decisions you make now may impact your career in the future, there are some steps you can take to make sure you protect your reputation and job prospects.

While it’s tempting to let your boss know how you feel, some things are better left unsaid. Abide by company protocol, give notice, and tie up all loose ends before you leave. Talk to HR, get your references in writing, and give your employer space and time to process your notice.

Even if you’re changing careers, it’ll serve you well to quit your job professionally and respectfully.

The post How to Quit Your Job: 10 Tips for Leaving on Good Terms appeared first on DollarSprout.

According to Bankrate’s 2019 Lending Money Survey, 60% of Americans have helped loved ones with the expectation of being paid back._[1] Unfortunately, the reality is that you may never see that money again. Worse, you could end up damaging a relationship with someone close to you.

And not only might your relationship be damaged, but your finances can take a hit as well. Of the 2,490 people surveyed by Bankrate, 25% lost money and 6% said their credit score was damaged as a result of lending.

On the surface, lending money to friends and family seems like the right thing to do, especially for people close to you. However, it’s not always worth the risk.

Why You Shouldn’t Lend Money to Friends and Family

People love to help their loved ones when they can, especially their friends and family. While this can work out for both parties, it’s typically a situation you want to avoid for a few reasons.

1.  It can strain relationships.

Relationships are one of the most valuable and important commodities we have. Lending money to loved ones can change or damage our most meaningful relationships. Financial educator and coach, Sharita M. Humphrey, has seen this firsthand.

“I’ve seen so many family dynamics change when one family member loans money to another and they don’t pay it back,” she said. “It can make some family members seem as if they have to choose sides because some may be more understanding than others, and the other side is advocating that the person be paid.”

When you lend money to close friends or family, the borrower may feel less inclined to look at a loan the same way they would if they received it from a bank or other lender. There can be a disconnect with expectations between both parties. This usually doesn’t end well for anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Money has a tendency to complicate relationships, and sometimes the damage done is too much to bear. Stress in close relationships can cause them to sever completely. “Friendships can be altered or even destroyed when one friend lends money to another and they don’t pay back the money that they owe,” says Humphrey.

A loan between close people can be an awkward situation for both parties. “Think about it from the borrower’s side, too,” says financial advisor Brandon Renfro. “If they aren’t able to pay you back, it could embarrass them even if you genuinely aren’t bothered. In that case, it still may be better not to lend to them even if your only goal is to help.”

There is also the possibility that not lending money could negatively affect the relationship. Either way, it’s best to proceed with caution.

2. It can hurt you financially.

Your relationship isn’t the only thing that may be affected when lending money to a friend or family member. Your bank account and credit can take a hit, too.

First, there’s a good chance you’ll never see your money again. Because you have a close relationship, your friend or family member may view the money as a gift instead of a loan. Even if they do know that it’s a loan, they might assume that they don’t have to pay it back, or at least not quickly. While that might not be the case with small loans, for larger amounts, it could affect your savings or future plans.

Second, spotting a friend fifty dollars is different than giving them access to your credit card or cosigning a loan. In fact, the Bankrate survey showed that 17% of people surveyed lent their credit card to a loved one, and 21% cosigned on a loan or other financial agreement. Those are serious decisions that can put you at risk financially if the other party doesn’t make payments. As the co-signer, you are legally bound to pay the debt if they don’t.

Finally, lending money to friends or family members may even affect your tax situation. The gift tax exemption for 2020, set by the IRS, is $15,000._[2] If you lend someone money below the $15,000 mark, it may go unnoticed. However, if you lend more than that amount without charging interest, you will catch the IRS’s attention and it could be deemed a gift that’s applied towards your lifetime gift tax exclusion.

You will have to pay taxes if you go over the lifetime limit, although the $11.4 million lifetime total likely won’t affect most people.

3. You might need the money.

If you have money to lend someone, chances are you already had plans for using it. It could be part of your emergency fund or your savings for a downpayment on a house or a new car. Consider your finances before lending to someone else, particularly if you’ve already earmarked the money for your own goals.

You may not even have extra money to lend someone else without compromising your long-term (or short-term) financial situation. Lending money to a friend could delay or postpone future plans if you aren’t careful. You may have to prioritize yourself and your family. Loaning money isn’t the best option if it will put you in a financial bind, too.

4. It could enable bad financial habits.

Sometimes lending money to loved ones isn’t the best thing we can do for them, especially if they already have difficulty managing their finances. It may offer a short-term fix, but it might not solve their long-term problems.

While it’s important to help them keep their heat on or fix their car, and the loan may do just that, you want them to develop healthy money habits. Knowing how to manage their own money prevents borrowing from becoming a permanent solution and protects your relationship.

Other Ways to Help Friends and Family Without Lending Money

If a family member asks for a loan, they are probably looking for a quick solution to a problem. Depending on the person and your own financial situation, you can say no while still offering to help. It might not be the help they want, but make it clear that it’s the help you can give.

One thing you can do is offer to sit down with them to discuss their finances. Help them set up a budget or look at traditional loan options.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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If they need financial counseling or education, you can offer to help them find and pay for a financial planner or counselor. You can also send them resources or buy them a book or two on money management.

Consider offering your free babysitting services so they can make extra money, or offer to fill up their gas tank or buy them groceries. This kind of tangible assistance can make a big difference for someone in a precarious financial situation.

It’s tough to say no to friends and family. Offering to help in other ways can sometimes soften the blow.

Related: Should Parents Pay for Their Children’s College Education?

Follow These Rules if You Lend Money to Friends or Family

If you do decide to lend money to someone close to you, following these guidelines can create the best situation for you and the borrower.

Only lend what you can afford to lose. Natalie Briaud Pine, the managing partner of Briaud Financial Advisors, suggests setting low expectations when lending money.

“Only lend money to family when you can afford to lose the entire loan. Most family members are not going to foreclose on a home or take their son/daughter to court over lack of payment on a loan,” she said. “So, you have to go to the place where you don’t see a dime back and are OK.”

Get it in writing. Find a free promissory note online or seek help from a lawyer to create documentation of your loan. It may be worth getting any documents notarized as well.

Having the terms of the loan in writing, including deadlines and expectations for repayment, makes it clear that this is a loan, not a gift. It eliminates any ambiguity or confusion.

Start small. When lending someone money, don’t give them access to your bank account. Give them a small cash loan so they can prove that they’ll pay it back. Just like a credit card issuer increases limits over time based on repayment history, you can do the same.

Don’t let deadlines slide. When you don’t hold your loved ones accountable for repaying their loan, it opens the door for boundaries to be pushed. A payment that’s three days late becomes two weeks late. Paying you back becomes less of a priority because there are no consequences.

If you’ve put the repayment deadlines in writing, make sure you’re enforcing them and putting consequences in place if the deadlines are ignored.

Consider the impact on other family members. Before loaning money, think about the message that sends to other people you love. What kind of precedent does it set? Will other family members expect you to loan them money if they need it? And what happens if the borrower doesn’t pay you back? Others might feel they need to take sides, which can complicate things further.

Consider how it will affect family or friendship dynamics before agreeing to lend money.

Proceed with Caution Before Lending Money to Loved Ones

Use your best judgment if you plan to lend money to a friend or family member. While money holds value, protecting the relationship is what matters most. If you do loan money to someone, be clear with expectations for repayment or choose to gift the money instead.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to family and money. Make the best choice for your specific situation, and move forward cautiously.

The post 4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Lend Money to Friends or Family appeared first on DollarSprout.